Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
