I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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