Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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