Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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