i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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