Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
