I CAN MOONWALK!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
