well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
