I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
