how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
