I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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