Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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