i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
