I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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