Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
