Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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