Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
