did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
