Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize