College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
