I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize