You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
