I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
