As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
