I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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