The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
