I feel like abortions should bother me more
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
