you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Sorry about my life...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
