I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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