apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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