Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize