woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm passing your future prison.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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