i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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