I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
