my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize