Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
