my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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