There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
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