How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
