You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
