dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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