I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
