Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
