I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
