Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sorry about my life...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
