I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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