spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
