i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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