The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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