i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i think im in europe. pls send help
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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