maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
