my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We named our party play list daddy issues
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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