So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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