so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
