is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
