If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize