So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
