i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
