It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
