a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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