she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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