Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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