Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
